Wednesday, March 25, 2009

10 Things Men do That Drive a Woman cRaZzy...

Crazy as in hopping mad.

1. Dyeing their graying chest hair. 
Desist.  If its gray, its gray; and we love you anyway.

2. Scratching itches.  Particularly at forked junctions.
Why don't you just carry along a broom?

3. Coming out of your room draped in a towel, "by
 mistake", when a woman is around.

Believe me, we KNOW it isn't a mistake and unless you're Brad or John Abraham, we DON'T like.

4.  Draping long strands of hair over
 your bald spots. 
Quit.  Tricky when it
 blows and those locks fly
Pssst.. besides, women love the feel of that smooth, round skull.....  

5. Growing ONE fingernail loooooong. Generally the pinky.
Why?   To dig?

6. Leaving shirts open to the belly button to display shaved chest/matted carpet.
Go find a tree caveman!

7. Displaying spindly legs in shorts.
Truly some things look  better viewed in the dark.

8. Maintaining huge paunches. 
Yes, we adore you.  But draw the line somewhere, love.

9. Wearing pointy toed/white shoes.
Ooooooohhhh, the darlings!!!

10. Calling a woman "sister" or worse, "auntie".  
The unkindest cut of all. 

Love you always,

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